I caught Zathura. Although i was actually against the idea of actually watching something which is exactly the same as Jumanji was without the star studded cast. It was pretty interesting, Weejia, Anna and I screamed at one part and it was damn funny!
Earlier in the day i wanted to go to Toni and Guy to check out haircut prices cos Gladys says it's quite good. But wtf, THEY CHARGE $70 AND UP! I can go to aunt Judie and cut my hair at Hyatt hotel and still get change! Wah sai! Plus they do Fashion colours at like $150! cheaper than clippers! I should have gone to them. Fuck.

Weejia hasn't watched Harry Potty i meant Happy Potter. No no no! Harry Potter!! So i shall ask her and some other people who haven't watch to watch with me. I'm so outdated. HAH.

My dad just came back, 2hrs and 25minutes later than supposed to. Thank God i ate dinner first if not i'd be eating now!

New template.

so what do you think? I just used my sister's art thing like photoshop but not so high-tech and expensive. I find it quite cool. I need to make some border around the sides so that the words won't start right for the beginning of the picture and end at the ending of the picture as well. I think it's called a margin or something like that. i'm not sure. But i'm not so into making templates anymore. But i only changed cos people told me to they said that the previous photo was "porn" and the background colour was blinding. ALRIGHT I'VE RESPONDED TO YOUR PLEAS. NOW FEAST YOUR EYES! heh.

I was checking up on The O.C. Season 3 and i realized i forgot about ALEX! Yes Alex, that Alex with the purple streak who was once together with Marissa! Boy do i miss Alex! She's like visual orgasm! ( quote Nole Marin ) Anyhows, Can you imagine if Alex was still with Marissa or a more realistic imagination, can you imagine if Alex was still on The O.C. I'll be so happy! Alex is fucking hot.

I wanted to tell you my dream, But i figured you wouldn't listen.
I wanted to tell you how much i love you, But i figured you wouldn't listen.
I wanted to tell you how much you mean to me, But i figured you wouldn't listen.
I wanted to tell you how beautiful you are, But i figured you wouldn't listen.
I wanted to tell you that I missed you, But i figured you wouldn't listen.
I wanted to tell you so much so that i've already forgotten that, it all wouldn't even mean a thing to you.

I guess since, i'm already 15 and i saw this i decided to like do it. It's kind of lame anyway.

200 Things I've done at least once the past 15 years (those in purple):

01. bought everyone in the pub a drink
02. swam with wild dolphins
03. climbed a mountain
04. taken a ferrari for a test drive-iwish
05. been inside the great pyramid
06. held a tarantula
07. taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. said 'I love you' and meant it
09. hugged a tree
10. done a striptease
11. bungee jumped
12. visited paris.
13. watched a lightning storm at sea
14. stayed up all night long and watch the sun rise
15. seen the northern lights
16. gone to a huge sports game
17. walked the stairs to the top of leaning tower of pisa
18. grown and eaten your own vegetables
19. touched an iceberg
20. slept under the stars
21. changed a baby's diaper
22. taken a trip in a hot air balloon
23. watched a meteor shower
24. gotten drunk on champagne
25. given more than you can afford to charity
26. looked up the night sky through a telescope
27. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
28. Had a food fight.
29. Bet on a winning horse
30. Taken a sick day when you're not ill
31. Asked out a stranger
32. Had a snowball fight
33. Photocopied your bottom on the office photocopier
34. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
35. Held a lamb
36. Enacted a favorite fantasy
37. Taken a midnight skinny dip
38. Taken an ice cold bath
39. Had a meaningful conversation with a beggar
40. Seen a total eclipse
41. Ridden a roller coaster
42. Hit a home run
43. Fit three weeks miraculously into three days
44. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
45. Adopted an accent for an entire day
46. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
47. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
48. Had two hard drives for your computer
49. Visited all 50 states
50. Loved your job for all accounts
51. Taken care of someone who was shit faced
52. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
53. Had amazing friends
54. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
55. Watched wild whales
56. Stolen a sign
57. Backpacked in Europe
58. Taken a road-trip
59. Rock climbing
60. Lied to foreign government's official in that country to avoid notice
61. Midnight walk on the beach
62. Sky diving
63. Visited Ireland
64. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love
65. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger's table and had a meal with them
66. Visited Japan
67. Benchpressed your own weight
68. Milked a cow
69. Alphabetized your records
70. Pretended to be a superhero
71. Sung karaoke
72. Lounged around in bed all day
73. Posed nude in front of strangers
74. Scuba diving
75. Got it on to "Let's Get It On" by Marvin Gaye
76. Kissed in the rain
77. Played in the mud
78. Played in the rain
79. Gone to a drive-in theater
80. Done something you should regret, but don't regret it
81. Visited the Great Wall of China
82. Discovered that someone who's not supposed to have known about your blog has discovered your blog
83. Dropped Windows in favor of something better
84. Started a business
85. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
86. Toured ancient sites
87. Taken a martial arts class
88. Swordfought for the honor of a woman
89. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
90. Gotten married
91. Been in a movie
92. Crashed a party
93. Loved someone you shouldn't have
94. Kissed someone so passionately it made them dizzy
95. Gotten divorced
96. Had sex at the office
97. Gone without food for 5 days
98. Made cookies from scratch
99. Won first prize in a costume contest
100. Ridden a gondola in Venice
101. Gotten a tattoo
102. Found that the texture of some materials can turn you on
103. Rafted the Snake River
104. Been on television news programs as an "expert"
105. Got flowers for no reason
106. Masturbated in a public place
107. Got so drunk you don't remember anything
108. Been addicted to some form of illegal drug
109. Performed on stage
110. Been to Las Vegas
111. Recorded music
112. Eaten shark
113. Had a one-night stand
114. Gone to Thailand
115. Seen Siouxsie live
116. Bought a house
117. Been in a combat zone
118. Buried one/both of your parents
119. Shaved or waxed your pubic hair off
120. Been on a cruise ship
121. Spoken more than one language fluently
122. Gotten into a fight while attempting to defend someone
123. Bounced a cheque
124. Performed in Rocky Horror
125. Read - and understood - your credit report
126. Raised children
127. Recently bought and played with a favorite childhood toy
128. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
129. Created and named your own constellation of stars
130. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
131. Found out something significant that your ancestors did
132. Called or written your Congress person
133. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
134. ... more than once? - More than thrice?
135. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
136. Sang loudly in the car, and didn't stop when you knew someone was looking
137. Had an abortion or your female partner did
138. Had plastic surgery
139. Survived an accident that you shouldn't have survived
140. Wrote articles for a large publication
141. Lost over 100 pounds
142. Held someone while they were having a seizure
143. Piloted an airplane
144. Petted a stingray
145. Broken someone's heart
146. Helped an animal give birth
147. Been fired or laid off from a job
148. Won money on a T.V. game show
149. Broken a bone
150. Killed a human being
151. Gone on an African photo safari
152. Ridden a motorcycle
153. Driven any land vehicle at a speed of greater than 100mph
154. Had a body part of yours below the neck pierced
155. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
156. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
157. Ridden a horse
158. Had major surgery
159. Had sex on a moving train
160. Had a snake as a pet
161. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
162. Slept through an entire flight: takeoff, flight, and landing
163. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours
164. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
165. Visited all 7 continents
166. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
167. Eaten kangaroo meat
168. Fallen in love at an ancient Mayan burial ground
169. Been a sperm or egg donor
170. Eaten sushi
171. Had your picture in the newspaper
172. Had 2 (or more) healthy romantic relationships for over a year in your lifetime
173. Changed someone's mind about something you care deeply about
174. Gotten someone fired for their actions
175. Gone back to school
176. Parasailed
177. Changed your name
178. Petted a cockroach
179. Eaten fried green tomatoes
180. Read The Iliad
181. Selected one "important" author who you missed in school, and read
182. Dined in a restaurant and stolen silverware, plates, cups because your apartment needed them
183. ... and gotten 86’ed from the restaurant because you did it so many times, they figured out it was you
184. Taught yourself an art from scratch
185. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
186. Apologized to someone years after inflicting the hurt
187. Skipped all your school reunions
188. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
189. Been elected to public office
190. Written your own computer language
191. Thought to yourself that you're living your dream
192. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
193. Built your own PC from parts
194. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn't know you
195. Had a booth at a street fair
196: Dyed your hair
197: Been a DJ
198: Found out someone was going to dump you via LiveJournal
199: Written your own role playing game
200: Been arrested

Happy birthday to myself. Thank you for the birthday messages, testimonials, instant messages. I'm really thankful for all of it. 4hrs 10minutes till my birthday is over. I hope i hear from you. I really hope i do. I don't care if i get to see you on 26th, i don't care if i get to talk to you on 26th. I want it from you now. NOW. Maybe i'm being demanding but, I really really hope i hear from you before my birthday ends.

Thank you, Ravinder, Zenn, Fangzi, Chess, Steff, Mabel and Jo for making my birthday dinner so fun!
we had dinner last night at Rome, an Italian restaurant along bukit timah road. We ate a lot, then i steff asked me something when I went back in, there was cake on my seat! As in there was a big chocolate cake, with HAPPY BIRTHDAY GWEN on it and I was damn shocked and they all sang songs and that kind of thing. I ended up crying, I was VERY VERY VERY touched, really really touched. And the fact that I was the co-organizer of last night's dinner shocked me cos I didn't know there was even cake!! HAHA

I have you loved since a long time ago. But you don't know how long ago, nor do I. I have already forgotten. Not that it was too long ago, but that I thought I wouldn't love you for so long. But believe me, I really really do love you. Search my heart, search my eyes, search my mind. I only really love you.
I'd do my best to be by your side. I want to be by your side, I want to be the person you call for help in times of need. Please believe me because for you it will always be yes. I don't want you to be mine, nor do I want to be yours because I know we just can't be. But at least let me be your friend.
Someone once asked me, how much I loved you. I said," very much." She asked me why do you want to be together? I didn't answer I didn't have an answer to that. She replied to my blank face, Can't you two be friends? Then she just walked away. Although I wanted you so badly then, thinking of you everyday dreaming if you'd ever be mine. I think I've gone that stage I've realized we don't have to be together, we can just be friends.

Thanks for the painful memories. Thanks for the sad memories. Thanks for the excruciating memories. Thanks for all the memories. But I'm still very much in love with you.

Ah fuck. I don't feel like having a party anymore. I knew i should have kept my birthday this year low profile like really really low. no party no nothing. maybe i'm just pmsing. whatever give up and get over it la.

of no such relevance.

it was the best 5 days i ever had. Everyday when i woke up i knew i would see you, during the day when i was doing something i knew you'd still be there and before i went to sleep I always had a glimpse of you. Just the sight of you always made me thankful. Thankful because there was you. I dare say that, you are the best and the worst thing that has ever came into my short life of 15 years.

I've given every moment I had
Still I can never seem to keep up with you
You're done with one mile, and on to another one thousand
Still I could never seem to keep up with you
I know you'll be better off without me when I'm gone
You know you're beautiful
You're beautiful

Shine on
You were made to shine on
and you know I love you
even if we can or can't be friends I'll be with you till the very end
Shine on
You were made to

It's keeping me awake everynight
But I can never seem to give up on you
I send up a prayer and I'm on to another one thousand
But I can never seem to give up on you
I know you'll be better off without me when I'm gone
You know you're beautiful
You're beautiful

Shine on
You were made to shine on
and you know I love you
even if we can or can't be friends I'll be with you till the very end
Shine on
You were made to
Nobody's wrong
Nobody's right
Keep moving on
Shine on
You were made to shine on

Shine on
You were made to shine on
and you know I love you
even if we can or can't be friends
You're gonna be better than you've ever been so
Shine on
You're gonna be just fine
You're gonna be alright love
You're gonna be just fine
You're gonna be alright love

OBS: Magellan.

Hello. i'm at home now, I shall blog bout my OBS trip.


Day 1:
We were all very anxious about what watch we were going to be in and who was in our watch. I was nerve-wreckingly anxious because i would be very very anxious without my sitting partner/birthday partner/eating partner/problems sharing partner/best friend. And in the end she was one of the first few to get called out, she went to De Gama. Then after awhile everyone's name got called out. I was left around with Fangzi and Joanne, they were calling out for Magellan i remebered them call Sasha Long, Anna Chen, Tan Tingxi, Hadley Hung. Many names but soon Fangzi left myside following by Joanne and I was left sitting on that road with a few other girls but luckily my name got called out. Concluding a watch, Magellan. Consisting of, Anna, Fang Zi, Joanne, Ting Xi, Valerie, Sasha, Ying Jie, Hadley, Joan, Sofi, Yu Shan, Bao Hui, Revathy, Doren and myself. On the first day itself we had our pictures taken with our 2 instructors, Bibiana and Kenneth. We didn't do much actually just some trust falling and belaying. After that we had to cook, but the time we took to cook was well over an hour and thirty minutes and our instructor, Bibi was really really upset. Well i can't really remember but she was really upset cos she couldn't really control us and the next day we had to pack our haversacks and move to Camp1 really early.

Day 2:
We woke up at about 5 to unpitch our tents and pack our bags. when we were done we took off for camp 1 which was quite a horror cos walking is not my forte. we got there and we went kayaking. we all had to do life jacket test which was damn funny la. we all were floating in a ring and we had to put our head underwater but like nobody wanted to do it heh. so after that we had to do some capsizing thing. and we watched everyone capsize and sasha kept stalling time and everytime she was stalling the waves were perfect for capsizing. and finally when she decided to the waves were really bad everyone in the water was falling backwards. was hilarious la. ( starts to open a pack of OBS leftover brought home ) ( takes weight, finds out lost 2 kg :D ) and after that we went kayaking, like the real thing damnit! but there wasn't enough time so we just went to NINA BAY. it's actually a bad word if you get what i mean, and bibi kept calling it Bay of Nina while me, Sasha, Anna and Valerie were like, NINA BAY!!! after that we had like a race. the food on day2 was the best la. then after that we went to sleep.

Day 3:
On day 3, we had to set off for our land expedition. it was damn tiring considering the fact we were carrying so much things we had like alot of walking to do! we went to like the 3rd checkpoint, then there was a tombstone next to the checkpoint then when bibi told us that the tombstone of Mr. and Mrs. Tan, i was looking at Tingxi, and coincidentally she gave that kind of, are-you-for-real-you-must-be-kidding-face. It was damn hilarious la. i was like um-chioing. heh. we actually walked for about 5hrs with our at least 10kg bags. but we managed to get back to our new campsite which was like crap. we got back early so we could pitch tents and cook. it started raining not long, then we had to build a basha(sp?) and because not everyone can get under the basha, me, joanne and tingxi got under the basha to cook. plus joanne used the solid fuel to make the fire, but it's damn frigging smelly la. then me and tingxi were like choking. we got out of the basha and we were like coughing and things like that can taste the solid fuel la. damn gross. hmmm. then we had to get the jerry cans after that as tingxi was getting down the slope to the beach, the step on some hard rock or something. Sprained her ankle poor girl. my tent was damn frigging wet, had to share tent with other people, shared with yingjie, sofi, revathy and joan. was pretty cool talking to them, in the next tent was baohui, hadley, tingxi, yushan and mel and whatever joke i was telling in my tent you can hear baohui telling it after i told finish mine in my tent. then later baohui started shouting for me. but i didn't feel like respnding but they kept shouting, then mel shouted eh gwen tingxi calling you!! and then i heard tingxi shout, i never lor!! but wtf, i also didnt care. that baohui is damn annoying. then we went to sleep, and then it started raining at like 3.40am got up but then it wasn't too serious went back to sleep at 4.50 it started raining damn fucking heavily. wahh had to hold up the tent. and then later we all took our ponchos and decided to walk around, saw anna they all then we went carolling wearing our ponchos. we looked damn retarded.

Day 4:
day 4, we went like rafting in the quarry we build out raft which was quite odd. but amazingly, it could support the whole watch plus bibi! i got a wedgie while i was getting up. yeah we played around in the quarry as well. i dont like waterholes which are like damn deep la. i'll cry lor. then after that we trekked back to camp2 la.. me and valerie got abrasions at the groin. jeaneth's abrasion is damn bad la. then when we got back we had to do the high elements la. i didnt do, i was just an anchorman.. to lazy to climb the rock wall was thinking maybe tingxi would climb the rock wall but she said she was scared and anna was like eeeyer.. heh then later we had to cook our dinner as usual me, joanne and tingxi cooked again but then not enough water then went down to get. then anna and sasha came and help. anna got cut by a can then she was bleeding damn bad so i was the only one left upstairs i ate already then i came down, then i we had no key then i louise was going up so i asked louise to ask tingxi to bring down the key. so she came down we had to key, then anna and sasha also appeared then when just hung around downstairs, talked to ang-ila. then later hadley came down and she was damn pissed, but i dont care la i dont like her. then we were like all joking around la then i said something about our sister-hoot and valerie just burst out laughing and everyone was so cracked up even if you told a damn lame joke like yushan's you'd laugh. and yes everyone laughed.. fucking hilarious la. then we did abit of packing, scrubbing and all then we went to sleep.

Day 5:
which is today is the last day, we packed our whole store. took 3 over hours. bibi was angry again. we found out kenneth was actually singaporean and not hongky. i felt damn stupid for believing. hmmm then we had to go off already, bought 2 polo shirts 1 grey and 1 white i made my watch sign. but only 11 of them signed. not sure who didn't sign la. bibi and ang-ila signed for me! :D it's damn pretty.




s0rry for the lousy entry and all. i was going strong at the beginning then it got shoddier and shoddier. heh lousy la. i just realized that i've been sitting here blogging for about 4hours. it's now 12.15 and i started at 8.21! shoot la. ok blog more tomorrow. bye bye. oh yes, my sand fly bites are DAMN HORRIBLE.

i have so many questions which are left unanswered.
would you answer my question to lift this burden i've kept in my mind?

I predict a riot.

I like 2 girls, maybe 3 but i wouldn't consider Nora as like cos she's like Lluvy, Kahlen, Yoanna, Naima, Christina you get my drift... I wonder why do pretty girls always make me feel this way and everything. I like that person and i also like this person, i've liked that person since a long long long time ago. Not that long but bout half a year? Which IS considerably long. and i've known this person for about quarter of a year and she's really cool, but she's 7 years older than me. They both are cool in their own right, funny in their own right, pretty in their own right. And i like them both very much, well.. i'm not sure. I just like older girls.

will i still love you, tomorrow?

you know what, i feel really sad right now. It's like i'm caught between things that i know i can never achieve and people i can achieve. Wait... that sounds wrong, I dont know how to put it. I just feel screwed right here and right now.
I have to add them I have a very obsessive behaviour for people i like/admire. Example, Nora Caliguri. I'm obsessed with her like how i was obsessed with Xu Yan and Yoanna. I'm a really obsessive person. CAN YOU IMAGINE ME WHEN I GROW UP?!

your stalkerish persona.

HEY HEY HEY!
i found Nora's friendster. I went to myspace to try to find it, but there was no Nora Caliguri in their database so i was quite sad and i thought maybe she's not so in to computers and things like that. Then i went to Friendster to change my profile and everything. Then tried my luck, i was like sure dont have la.. but then i saw Nora then all the basic information and i wanted to scream!!! But i can't cos everyone's asleep. :( HEH i'm a happy bitch now. :D

what do i want to be in life?

HOW CUTE CAN SHE GET?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Not that she is but she makes me feel so... lesbian(not that i am either). Look at the smile?!?! CAN ANY THING BE CUTER THAN THAT?!?!?!? btw, i love that 3 lines on her sides. HOT HOT HOT!

i want to go to acs international. But i dont want to leave my friends :(

just a slob like one of us?

i wish i could tell you everything. I want to thank you for trusting me, you tell me everything even all those private things. I wish i could do the same but you just wouldn't understand. Thanks a million. You are the bestest.

i feel like i could actually one day let out all my secrets. My mind is so full with all these things which i have to keep hiding. I want to let it all out. ah fuck.

For all the years that I've known you
I can't figure out the reason why lately you've been acting so cold
If there's a problem we should work it out
So why you giving me the cold shoulder now
Like you don't even wanna talk to me girl

You've got your mother and your brother
Every other undercover
Tellin' you what to say
You think I'm stupid
But the truth is
That it's cupid, baby
Lovin' you has made me this way
So before you point your finger
Get your hands off of my trigger
Oh yeah
You need to know this situation's getting old
And now the more you talk
The less I can say, oh

I'm looking for attention
Not another question
Should you stay or should you go?
Well, if you don't have the answer
Why you still standin' here?
Hey, hey, hey, hey
Just walk away
Just walk away
Just walk away

I waited here for you
Like a kid waiting after school
So tell me how come you never showed?
I gave you everything
And never asked for anything
And look at me
I'm all alone
So, before you start defendin'
Baby, stop all your pretendin'
I know you know
I know
So what's the point in being slow
Let's get the show on the road today
Hey

I'm looking for attention
Not another question
Should you stay or should you go?
Well, if you don't have the answer
Why you still standin' here?
Hey, hey, hey, hey
Just walk away
Just walk away
Just walk away

I wanna love
I want a fire
To feel the burn
My desires
I wanna man by my side
Not a boy who runs and hides
Are you gonna fight for me?
Die for me?
Live and breathe for me?
Do you care for me? -i'll be all that for you, i'll do all that for you.
'Cause if you don't then just leaveI'm looking for attention
Not another question
Should you stay or should you go?
Well, if you don't have the answer
Why you still standin' here?
Hey, hey, hey, hey
Just walk away
If you don't have the answer
Walk away
Just walk away
Then just leave
Yeah yeah
Walk away
Walk away
Walk away

about 5 minute ago. i was triggered. then i thought about what i saw in school. and i was untriggered.

i'm fucking emo.

do you ever get the feeling that you're missing something inside?
do you ever get the feeling that you could have done something better for yourself or a community?
do you feel that you never have control of your own life?
have you ever had the feeling that you could be great, but what you are doing is just holding all of it back?

i've had all three feelings. i just wish i could do things on my own. make decisions for myself and not end up being scolded all the time. You always tell me to be more mature take actions on my own and when i do it you end up scolding saying it's inappropriate. The fact is that you asked me to make my own decision, i've made my own decision and then you come and tell me that it's wrong and everything. It's fucking sick and contradicting. You keep fucking my life up. Maybe that's why i've become like that. You never let me make my own decisions and i do, you always come scolding and telling me that i should have listened to you. you have absolutely no idea how much you always piss me off. It's so disgusting. I hope you stop taking my things. I hope you stop criticising me. I hope you stop asking me for help. I feel so awkward with you around. But i wanna thank you, thanks for the cash.

you know what, i was looking at butches photos and stuff and most of them have really cool hair with all those intricate details. some have. and i wonder how long do they take to just style their hair. not as if i want to learn from them but yeah how long do they take. if it were me," ahya, forget it la. my hair's ok la.." except for sometimes when it's really horrible.

hunkalicious. bye bye

maple story. :S

i hate maple story i love tingxi. :D

tiddles and toodles.

I like Craig David's new single, I just don't love you no more. Not that it exactly applies to me, not that it even applies to me it's really nice the melody and stuff. Come to think of it, can you imagine if one day the person you are together one day says,"I'm sorry I just don't love you no more." can you imagine how heartbreaking it would be?
And there's this one thing i can't get out of my mind, why the fuck did i do what i did? I was alright, ok maybe not all that right but... Fuck who am i kidding i was psychotic. You know sometimes, I, myself question my own sanity. As in, My own mental health, I'm not exactly the person with a very "fit" mind. I maybe the funny and zany and "retarded" sort of fun person which i guess people like to joke with but sometimes when i'm sad or angry or just unhappy with something, why do I become like that it's like i become a totally crackhead with a tinge of suicidal thoughts. I've yet to figure that maybe i need help. Oh yes, my mum wants to take me to see some psychologist, how interesting. :)

AND my ipod died. :(

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